I don't know how things get written on my heart so quickly.  The LORD sure does work in mysterious ways because I was wide awake laying down last night when the pages turned and my heart started to read the words GOD had written down.

I am blessed to be submerged in so many blessings.  I am about to walk and be stretched.  I can have a terrible day but truly mean it at a day's end when one asks how my day was that, "it was good..."  I can suffer and yet rejoice.  I can find peace and gladness. I cry tears of relief and joy more than pain and sorrow, even during tragic times.  I have been blessed this way.

While trying to pull through and leading a life worse off than any one I know or have met, and yet undoubtably not even close to as horrible as others I have yet to meet and may never, I am almost untouched. 
I can suffer in the moment and grip the joy of hope.  I can scream in fear through a troubled, dark time, and then shout exhaultations unto the LORD with tears of happiness.    Although tragic and difficult things no longer seem traumatic.  I dont miss out on a laugh while I am still looming in my sorrows.  I can humble myself to smile and freely give my pride to do so, rather than defend my heart with anger.  I have been blessed...

I have no idea when the LORD began writing all of this on my heart, but for me it only took a second to see it, hear it, feel it, and read it...

I am not sure how much longer I layed there looking at the depths of my heart.  Searching my own heart for the spirit that danced alive inside, and the life of which was now dead inside.  No sooner did I think of the dead life as all the mistakes I made before I knew JESUS, did the LORD redirect my attention to the notes he had made.  'THERE ARE NO MISTAKES'  "Look he said...its right there..." and as I doubted him he pointed
"
C'mon Joie, I wrote it, I know what it says!" 

Even in the more glorious time of my life, the most growing, spiritually-blessed-never turning-back moment, I am who I am.  I am who I was made to be.  A daughter of GOD.  A Sister to you in CHRIST.  A woman to carry the discernment we are blessed with.  To carry a love that is like no other.  All that life I was looking at that layed dead, of which the SPIRIT now danced freely over is apart of such undying love.  The dead is not mistakes.  For the LORD can take and will take all things that are bad and use them for good; things that are purposeless and create them into something meaningful; things that are dead and bring them new life...

Infact, those sins that were made before my salvation were dead because that is EXACTLY what my FATHER wanted.  Dying unto HIM.  That lifeless mess did not lay under my SPIRIT as mistakes, but as the very things that needed to die so that I could be brought into everlasting LIFE and LIVE!!!!!! and be FREEEEEEEEE

My gifts are well, my gifts.  They are some of your gifts too.  But who so ever gift's they are, they are good.  All good things come from GOD.  They are to be shared!  I will share all that I can with you guys and to the WORLD of the glory the  FATHER has given in bringing to me such purpose, meaning, and LIFE.  Even when our own gifts we are given differ, the last part is true for us all.  There are no mistakes to regret.  There is only life to live...to look ahead onto.  Your heart need not ache or grieve in regret... you need not carry burdens for mistakes.  GOD does not see them before you came to him.  He has made it that those sins and mistakes be made into something that is glorifying to him.  Think of it, you are acknowledging him as DAD, and he has a reputation to keep up you know!  He would never allow his child to go out into the world, into public, stained with regrets and a heart written with mistakes. 

There seemed only to be a little unsettled in me when it came to this.  Just a little part of me that seemed lightened when this wisdom was brought to me. But for some reason the LORD made this revelation BIG.  Something that is inspiring and empowering to me.  That lights my heart with a passion of new meaning to go out and relieve hearts that are heavily burdened with their past and their life before CHRIST that they cannot move forward. 
OH HEAVENLY FATHER, I thank you for your gifts.  Lay them before me oh GOD.  One at a time, all at once, it will always be more than I could give in return... but either  way my GOD, my FATHER, OUR FATHER, I give you my word that I will give all I have from all that you have given me.