Christmas time is over, and I think the better season of my life was just before, when I accompanied a group of young people to Africa on a mission trip that would blow my mind.

Shortly before I left AFrica,  some bit early, I knew two things. 1, I was sick, and 2, I had some things to take care of.  I had my eyes set on East Africa for a long time.  Both my eyes only followed my heart.  My passion was driven, and I was, at one time unwilling to accept it.   I have to admit that hard times came when my church refused to support me.  The congregation is about 6,000, so not the entire church as a whole institution, but those who formed the church in the college age ministry.  I could not fight past my leadership, nor would I.  It was a troubling time when I heard the LORD call me away from the church, together as the institution and as the body.  If you have read my blogs, or will now take time to do so, you will see that the LORD moved in better than wonderful ways with my obedience to His calling.  He wanted me, and I NEEDED, to be involved solely with Him so that I was not mistaken on what He had asked me to do.   Certainly, there was a time (and I have wrote of this) that the LORD showed me the reason I was so low when I stepped back from the church and they abandoned me entirely,  was because I relied on the church.  I seen GOD in so many people that I was chasing after people when He was absent, trying to figure out what to do or needing help or guidance, rather than Him!!   This mistake was made with a good heart filled with glorious intentions.  I felt so foolish.

With all of that in mind, you will now understand a bit better what I am about to explain.  While in Afirca I became very sick.  During the worst of it I was only able to lay on the floor as my muscles cramped up for hours at a time and hardly was able to move to the bathroom where I spent much of my time.  I eventually retreated to fasting, but the symptoms worsened.  I finally found myself well enough to go to the clinic, where my symptoms were still occuring but I was able to walk and move about.  Unfortunately, no labs were done, and I was sent home being treated for a viral infection.  I had missed out on so much ministry and I am sure there may have been an easier way, but with several other teammembers and being unable to care for myself, I was drawn back home a week earlier than planned.   My illness would worsen one day after I returned home. I praise GOD that He kept me well on the plane ride and even blessed me with a women, her name was  Gloria, who I to this day wish would get ahold of me again!  All I can say is that many questioned why the church who I had sacraficed my time, work, money, and heart to were not there to help.  I needed it.  I found I could not care for myself at a point.  I was heartbroken.  There was noone to call on in the church.  For the first time I realized the degree of the separation.  I put my trust in GOD and carried forward.  I was forced out of my living arrangements and eventually had to carry on to Buffalo.  While in Buffalo,  I felt I had finally gotten well, and for nearly 10 days I was up and about.  Unfortunately, during this time, I should have been working, but with my situation as such, there was not an outlet to work.   A day after I traveled to TN to visit a friend, from our Africa team,  my situation became very bad and I my whole body was telling me it would not get any better.  I called her and her family home from a Christmas Eve lunch and we attempted to take me to a clinic.  By the time we reached the clinic my body had seized up entirely, at points I could not hold my head up, and I was in severe pain.  If you guys didn't know, I cut two of my toes off and that did not even hurt like this did. =0)  We finally reached an Emergency Department, and I am not entirely happy how long they waited to care or me, but nonetheless, I was cared for.  Most of my symptoms I recognize from SEVERE dehydration.  As a runner in the Florida heat I've had plenty of run ins at the ER because of severe dehydration, but NOTHING compares....   Lastly before I left they took a sample that shown I actually had a common parasite among backpackers, or people like us here trying to move along the mission field in foreign lands without the best water supply.   The parasite sits inside ur tummy and eats from your intestines causing severe nausea, vomitting, and diarreah.  It is easily treated, however.   Regardless, I was not able to work, I am displaced, and without the support of a church body behind me, I am not able to return to Africa.

WHat I want to make most apparent as  I write this (and I hope you have continued reading this to get to this point), is that despite everything I fought through the hardships I faced inside the church I had in America, and I with the trust of the leaders of AIM and their faith in the LORD and in me, I persevered through the emotional trials I had losing the best of a family I knew, and I was adopted into a family of belivers that were like no other.   We created a church like none other.  Every day I woke up to my church.  ACTS and 2Corinthians principles for community living and ministry with one another were expressed daily and continually.   The truest love of GOD I felt beaming from the hearts of each individual.  My leaders, even tho my age, were fearless, but with soft and vulnerable hearts.... the way GOd wants.  Therefore giving and nurturing at a time where I needed that the most.   Being involved with this church meant, personally for me, being able to go out and minister with all I had, and I did.  I watched radical change come to the hearts of several individuals.  I found my heart at times torn even between my ministry and Escom and my ministry throughout the hospital.  But while each day I seemed a bit weary of where to go, I was sure for one thing, and that was that I had a place, and a purpose... a specific one infact.   I was assigned by our Father to do ths.

I had such ambition to step onto foreign soil of places in Kenya, West Africa, India, China... and my elders always minimized my concern for these nations.  I want to go so much that I could hardly wait.  My exact words one day  "...wait until when?  Don't you see what is going on in these countries?  I have a feeling its only going to get worse and I want to get there before the war, before theres nothing left to see but destruction."   (okay this is almost exactly my words, I got caught up in the order of my words...)   As homes, churches, and business are being destroyed, streets cleared out, and dead bodes piling up, I am haunted by those words.  Those words came shortly after my call in which I took nearly 2 years to answer.   Kenya was safe ground then.  Maybe GOD knew, maybe he knew my heart and He of course seen this destruction, and Kenya was not where he could take me.  I know our God is a funny and silly God sometimes, and I found out how he tricked me into getting into Africa with my heart hopeful with some things, and although fulfilled by those things, my heart would leave changed by things I could have never of dreamed or thought I would desire.

Sooo.... can I tell you, there are many members of the body.  I see AIM offering programs to support people like me, to support people like you.  All ages, of all lengths of walk in your faith.    If you view the website they are even offering a new program for those of you who may be questioning where you are with the LORD... new believers and those just unsure.  I love it.    I have filled out pages and pages of paperwork for organizations and really, I got tired of proving that there was some mighty work going on inside of me.   I was left trying to prove I was good enough.  We are all God's choosen ones.  We are His children.  He created us one by one, called us by name.  YOU are good enough.   I was not the only one hurt by my church back in America.  I know there are many who have comforted me with your stories.  (thank you).    But whoever you are, do not wait to answer your call.  Do not let anything get in the way.  When GOD asked you to leave it all, He meant it all.   Other hopes, ambitions, desires... they are fine and dandy, but NOTHING will compare to the glory of GOD when you are right where He has asked you to be.  There is NOTHING worldly that should prevent you from stopping where you hear His voice to GO, from setting your life down, picking up your heart, and taking it to where He has asked.

I love you guys.  Team Special K, I will never EVER forget you guys and I feel a reunion in the future for all of us....  And all of my awesome bunk mates,  Ashely, Tessa, Aubs, Bailey, and Lindseyyyy!!   I will live in community any day with all of you!   Kelsey, you are an inspirtation.  Vanessa, I know GOD put you in my life for a reason.   Abby, thank you so much for sharing your smile and child-like heart with me... You were my prayer buddy when we picked names, and I know GOD did that specifically answering my already-prayed requests for you!  Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!