It does not even seem as if I am going anywhere right now.  I am only a bit unprepared, but I should fully prepared by now!  Again, I have disappointed myself.  Something tells me tho, that fully prepared or a bit delayed in preparation, that the LORD is happy with me.  Its the little something that told me how much HE wanted for me to go!

I am content.  The devil would make me feel selfish a bit, to be content in an instance where my lack of success he makes to overmind my accomplishments.

With all honesty, I am in my hotel room with all of my bags torn open and torn apart...(I had been missing something VERY important).   Completely exghausted and needing the embrace of peace that only sleep brings, I settled into bed VERY early yesterday evening... near 8pm.  I am finding it hard to get down and repack.   Fortunately for me a couple boxes of clothes and things I wont need immediately are being shipped to me so that I can have a reasonable amount of luggage and not pay hudreds of dollars in unreasonable over-limit luggage fees.... So now, , I realize that all my doors are truly shut... a friend of mine prayed over me on Monday for this, and while he prayed that this be, I found my emotions inside disheveled.  I was ... afraid?  Oh just that drop of fear shook me.  PRAISE YOU GOD for wisdom, that even at that moment I knew better. I knew that my heart was better than fear... it was the dwelling place of the LIFE that brought me hope and of which brings me courage and strength!!!

What that prayer would offer me was more than just comfort of a brother praying and lifting me to our FATHER... it was the first real look I had into my life, through one doorway.  If I don't decide to pack and allow myself to be overwhelmed right now, there is no place for me to go.  My latest check out time today is noon.    I have been away from home for nearly 8 years now.  There isn't a "home" to go back to.   There is no life that I left back in Florida, besides the testimony of the LIFE that I have foud in CHRIST... and, I do not own much more than what strings across this hotel room floor.

Did I not just recently write proclaimining to GOD that it is no longer "I WILL GO LORD,"  But that I am on my way???  And I must press on through this.  Although my desires aren't on my heart at the moment, I know this must be an attempt of crazy ol' Satan's to stop me.... As I continue to think about that I am beginning to get eager again. THE LORD IS RESTORING ME as I am writing this... for now I think of what SATAN is trying to stop me of, and what he hates most... LOSING!  Satan HATES losing... losing the people he wants to call as his to a life named JESUS.  I am thinking now of people I may lead to CHRIST, and those who will surround me as brother and sister and praise our FATHER together... yes, THIS is what I am living for.  THIS is why my bags were ever packed in the first place.

I have nowhere else to go.  I have chose for it to be that way, and now I do understand that I must GO!!!  With that said and these things revealed to me as I typed away at this, I am off to finish packing and then to ATLANTA.... to the AFRICA TEAM, I will see you soon!